To keep a marriage strong Gottman has suggested the Magic 5 Hour rule. Five hours sounds like a lot of time but it is only five hours in a whole week. Let me break this down for you so can have a better understanding.
PARTING THOUGHTFULLY: When one or both of you are parting ways in the morning, whether it's for work or an appointment, always take two minutes to say goodbye. If you do this once every work day that adds up to ten minutes. Only ten minutes a week so far and the relationship is bound to stay stronger.
REUNIONS: When one spouse returns home take a nice twenty minutes to focus on each other. This can be hugging and asking about how each others day went or just sitting on the couch and cuddling. If you do this for twenty minutes on every work day then you've got 110 minutes now of relationship building.
ADMIRATION AND APPRECIATION: Take five minutes every day to tell your spouse things you appreciate and admire about them. By doing this you create a stronger bond and appreciation for everything they are contributing to this marriage. So, if you take five minutes everyday that's thirty five minutes a week. Now we're up to 145 minutes. That's about two and a half hours a week!
AFFECTION: Take five minutes every day to place a kiss on your spouse or to hold their hand. Whatever you choose and label as affection. This continues to strengthen the bond between husband and wife. If you take five minutes every day, that adds up to another thirty five minutes. Now that's a total of three hours a week! How hard can this really be right?
WEEKLY DATE: Now if you take two hours to go on a weekly date to grow closer together then you reach the full five hours. A weekly date makes it easier to forget the world and focus on your spouse. It's only two hours; you could even just go have a great conversation over some amazing food then go for a stroll afterwards.
It's that simple. Now you have your full five hours a week that is meant to strengthen your relationship and bring joy to you and your spouse.
Spending time with your spouse is SO important! Sometimes you have to schedule it in, but make sure it happens!
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely an interesting way to discuss strengthening marital relationships, its very creative! I am impressed with the difference between time and quality time. How would you describe each? What is the significance of actually speaking words of affirmation to your spouse and expressing love and appreciation? Why do you think many couples seem to fall into a rut and have difficulty remaining emotionally and physically close?
ReplyDelete